Break-Up Songs

I had to fire an employee for the first time in my adult career yesterday. The decision to do so was easy to make, the execution however, was a little messier. So in honor of my lost worker I've compiled a list of my 10 favorite break up songs. They span decades and genres but are all worth their weight in tear soaked gold.

#10. Coheed & Cambria - "Welcome Home



Even if you weren't familiar with the science fiction that C&C have built their music around, even if you didn't know that this song was about Claudio coming home from a suicide mission to find the love of his life with another man, even if you thought this song was just a metal song and no more, there is a very disgruntled, broken hearted man at this song's epicenter. The heartbreak is a little more understandable in the acoustic version. So enjoy! Or don't. You're probably too torn up to.

#9. Tegan & Sara - "The Con"



Say what you will about their haircuts but these gals turn a break up into a somewhat up lifiting piece. This isn't so much a "break up" song as it is a "painful experiences are healthy" song. And that's a lot better than wishing cruel deaths on the ones of have wronged us.

#8. Alkaline Trio- "Radio"




The boys in Alkaline Trio are not as optimistic as Tegan & Sara but what they lack in optimism they account for in suicidal, violent depression. I don't think it's nothing a few Hot Topic gift cards couldn't cure though. Please watch, without a doubt, one of the worst ideas for a homemade music video and perhaps one of the funniest.


#7. Frightened Rabbit - "Good Arms vs. Bad Arms"



Scottish indie band Frightened is like a byproduct of a Carbon Leaf and Damien Rice orgy. "Good Arms vs. Bad Arms" has all the emotional intensity of a Rice ballad and all the acoustic melodies of the finest Carbon Leaf tunes. Add to that gut punching lyrics and you've got a fine break-up stew. No weird Sims video for this one. Just the song doing what it does best.

#6. Cake- "Alpha Beta Parking Lot"



I like Cake for a lot of reasons. Chief among those reasons is the band's ability to bend their sound to any occasion. You always know it's Cake. The usually bright guitar riffs, bouncy bass lines and cheerful horns all blend into a melancholy tune. This song highlights the feeling of futility a wronged lover can have and drives home the sense of loss as car fumes surround the singer and the sun goes down.

#5. Etta James- "All I Could Do Was Cry"



It's Etta effin James lamenting over her ex-lover's wedding. Ouch. There's nothing I can type that her voice won't convey.

#4. The Ink Spots- "Don't Get Around Much Anymore"




I don't know what it is about this song that makes me feel like I've lost something near and dear. It reminds me of the Great Depression, the Overlook Hotel and BioShock's city of Rapture. Also, it's kind of nice to listen to a guy just say "Screw it, it's not worth it, I'm staying in."

#3. Damien Rice- "Cheers Darlin"



Unlike Alkaline Trio's red and black brand of pessimism, Damien Rice's pain is tangible in every word and strum. Instead of using the chink of glasses as a queue for celebration, Rice uses the sound to create tension throughout the song, as if he is just as fragile and about to crack. When the song finally crescendos, the listener is awash in Rice's howls and whining strings which devolve into lonely guitar and piano riffs. It's truly a depressing song.

#2. Bon Iver- "Skinny Love"



So a guy loses his band, breaks up with his girlfriend and then gets mononucleosis. Most people would get drunk and maybe go to a theme park. Not Justin Vernon. He goes to his parents cabin and records one of the best break up albums ever, one of the best albums of the decade and writes one of my favorite songs of all time. A finer example of what good can come from bad situations there never was.

#1. Conway Twitty- "Hello Darlin"



All good break up songs have "darlin" in the title. Seriously though, don't act like you didn't see this coming. Country Western music was built upon loss and depression. Whatever songs weren't about drinking and raising Cain, were about losing a girl or a friend or a dog or a favorite tire. And nobody did it like ol' Conway.


I felt bad for firing that employee but these songs have been a cathartic distraction. Maybe someday they'll do the same for you. Thanks for reading. Here's a treat for making it to the end.