Movies I Hate, Soundtracks I Love Pt. 2

I said there would be one unpopular decision and now I'm thinking there may be two. But we'll burn that bridge when we get there. Let's put a fork in this list.

#5. Baz Lurhmann's Romeo & Juliet

Jesus. Just...wow. What goes well with Hawaiian shirts, gaudy jewelry, cocked pistols and pink hair? Iambic pentameter motherfucker. The movie, like the picture above, is crowded with clashing ideas and laughable. The soundtrack is an unlikely combination but it achieves what the movie can't. The soundtrack meshes seemingly opposite aesthetics and thrives whereas the movie comes across as a shiny cartoon. Butthole Surfers, Garbage, Everclear and the Cardigans mark the compilation as a smorgasbord of 90s bands while wild cards Stina Nordenstam and Quindon Tarver surprise the ear. This collection of songs has aged almost as well as Leo himself. MEoW!

#4. Dracula 2000
The quote on the poster claims this movie is as "Hip & Happening." No it isn't. It absolutely is neither of those words. It's messy, shoddy and silly. Gerard Butler undead as Dracula is worse than love note ghost writer Gerard Butler. But, metal this soundtrack doth have. Slayer, Pantera, Godhead, Static X, Powerman 5000, Monster Magnet and a cover of Berlin's "The Metro" by System of a Down. I've moved on from a lot of these bands but I still hold a soft spot for them; in the fleshy area around my jugular.

#3. JunoThis is the one I thought would be most contested. Because, like a lot of people, I loved Juno the first time I saw it. Then I saw it again. And again. By the 3rd time through I had grown to hate Diablo Cody's indulgent slang and almost blamed the outstanding cast and Jason Reitman. I won't nitpick this movie because it has its moments, but it's just not for me. The music acheives the level of quirkiness that the movie promises but unlike the movie, the songs gathered on the soundtrack get better with repetition. It was my introduction to Kimya Dawson and Antsy Pants but it was the offerings from Sonic Youth, The Kinks, The Velvet Underground, Buddy Holly, and Cat Power that sucker punched me in the heart skillet. If you liked that last line read it over and over again and you'll see how obnoxious it becomes.

#2. Observe and Report

I walked away from this movie thinking I liked it and by the time I got home I realized that I had laughed at it and not with it. Jody Hill, a director who debuted with the Will Ferrel & Adam McKay endorsed Foot Fist Way, made a film that centers around a deranged mall cop and the movie unravels as surely and as messily as the protagonist's (if you could call him that) reality. It's difficult to decide if I should be laughing or empathizing or protesting the characters' actions. I don't need a cookie cutter resolution or a reformation of a despicable character but Observe & Report flounders while deciding how it wants to be digested. That said, the soundtrack is twisted and full of obscure, psychedelic thrashings. Songs from The Band and The Yardbirds round it out but the effect of noisy and eclectic guitars throughout the movie have a maddening effect. Like the use of The Yardbirds "Over Under Sideways" here:

Hilarious, until Seth Rogen date rapes someone.

#1. Clueless
Here it is. The obnoxious quotient in this movie is through the roof. Defend it how you will but I can't do it anymore. Employing such heavy doses of era specific fashion and slang can achieve two effects: it can either encapsulate the zeitgeist or it can alienate itself by being virtually incomprehensible to future eras. For me, watching Clueless now is like digging up a time capsule full of my old Pogs. I just don't want to play anymore. Give me Coolio and Mighty Mighty Bosstones any day though. Everything on this soundtrack from The Muffs cover of Kim Wilde's "Kids in America" to live and acoustic songs by Counting Crows and Radiohead respectively to Supergrass and the immortal "Supermodel" by Jill Sobule, screams 90s in a way that I want to listen to over and over again.

I'll leave you with this.