Movies I Hate, Soundtracks I Love Pt. 2

I said there would be one unpopular decision and now I'm thinking there may be two. But we'll burn that bridge when we get there. Let's put a fork in this list.

#5. Baz Lurhmann's Romeo & Juliet

Jesus. Just...wow. What goes well with Hawaiian shirts, gaudy jewelry, cocked pistols and pink hair? Iambic pentameter motherfucker. The movie, like the picture above, is crowded with clashing ideas and laughable. The soundtrack is an unlikely combination but it achieves what the movie can't. The soundtrack meshes seemingly opposite aesthetics and thrives whereas the movie comes across as a shiny cartoon. Butthole Surfers, Garbage, Everclear and the Cardigans mark the compilation as a smorgasbord of 90s bands while wild cards Stina Nordenstam and Quindon Tarver surprise the ear. This collection of songs has aged almost as well as Leo himself. MEoW!

#4. Dracula 2000
The quote on the poster claims this movie is as "Hip & Happening." No it isn't. It absolutely is neither of those words. It's messy, shoddy and silly. Gerard Butler undead as Dracula is worse than love note ghost writer Gerard Butler. But, metal this soundtrack doth have. Slayer, Pantera, Godhead, Static X, Powerman 5000, Monster Magnet and a cover of Berlin's "The Metro" by System of a Down. I've moved on from a lot of these bands but I still hold a soft spot for them; in the fleshy area around my jugular.

#3. JunoThis is the one I thought would be most contested. Because, like a lot of people, I loved Juno the first time I saw it. Then I saw it again. And again. By the 3rd time through I had grown to hate Diablo Cody's indulgent slang and almost blamed the outstanding cast and Jason Reitman. I won't nitpick this movie because it has its moments, but it's just not for me. The music acheives the level of quirkiness that the movie promises but unlike the movie, the songs gathered on the soundtrack get better with repetition. It was my introduction to Kimya Dawson and Antsy Pants but it was the offerings from Sonic Youth, The Kinks, The Velvet Underground, Buddy Holly, and Cat Power that sucker punched me in the heart skillet. If you liked that last line read it over and over again and you'll see how obnoxious it becomes.

#2. Observe and Report

I walked away from this movie thinking I liked it and by the time I got home I realized that I had laughed at it and not with it. Jody Hill, a director who debuted with the Will Ferrel & Adam McKay endorsed Foot Fist Way, made a film that centers around a deranged mall cop and the movie unravels as surely and as messily as the protagonist's (if you could call him that) reality. It's difficult to decide if I should be laughing or empathizing or protesting the characters' actions. I don't need a cookie cutter resolution or a reformation of a despicable character but Observe & Report flounders while deciding how it wants to be digested. That said, the soundtrack is twisted and full of obscure, psychedelic thrashings. Songs from The Band and The Yardbirds round it out but the effect of noisy and eclectic guitars throughout the movie have a maddening effect. Like the use of The Yardbirds "Over Under Sideways" here:

Hilarious, until Seth Rogen date rapes someone.

#1. Clueless
Here it is. The obnoxious quotient in this movie is through the roof. Defend it how you will but I can't do it anymore. Employing such heavy doses of era specific fashion and slang can achieve two effects: it can either encapsulate the zeitgeist or it can alienate itself by being virtually incomprehensible to future eras. For me, watching Clueless now is like digging up a time capsule full of my old Pogs. I just don't want to play anymore. Give me Coolio and Mighty Mighty Bosstones any day though. Everything on this soundtrack from The Muffs cover of Kim Wilde's "Kids in America" to live and acoustic songs by Counting Crows and Radiohead respectively to Supergrass and the immortal "Supermodel" by Jill Sobule, screams 90s in a way that I want to listen to over and over again.

I'll leave you with this.

Tune In Tuesday

Forgive the title. No. Don't. It is what it is.

Every Tuesday new albums release and every Tuesday I wade through the mess to pick out what I like. I would tweet my picks and one day a friend suggested I start a blog. Either he was tired of my Tuesday tweets or he wanted more. So here are my picks. Again, these are the releases that I'm listening to and trying out so listener beware.

You can click on the album cover for a link to purchase.

Punch Brothers Antifogmatic



















When Nickel Creek split up it hit us all right where it hurts. Chris Thile's solo efforts were fine but nothing really compared to what was lost. In 2008 Thile and a band of four young men released a bluegrass/folk album entitled Punch under the guise of Punch Brothers. Punch was nuanced, subtle and textured. It demanded repeated listens and repeated listens I struggled to give it. I wanted more Nickel Creek and nothing would satiate me. Antifogmatic is closer to what I want and more of what I need.

Drake Thank Me Later



















I've only recently embraced the hip hop album as a whole with rappers like Lil Wayne, Wale, Jay-Z, The Cool Kids, Speech Debelle, etc. I went through a period regarding the hip hop genre only as single worthy. So we'll see what a Canadian Degrassi grad can muster for his debut. I'm ready. And Drake, a proper Thank You card is forthcoming.

Nappy Roots Pursuit of Nappyness



















Can I withstand two hip hop albums in one day? I have a soft spot for Nappy Roots from their Watermelon, Chicken & Grits days but I haven't paid much attention since. It looks like their aesthetic has matured a little bit but is a little more Southern fried catchy-ness a la "Aww Naww" too much to hope for?

Devo Something for Everybody



















It's been two decades since Devo released a studio album and it's high time. Q:Are We Not Men A:We Are Devo! ranks with Combat Rock and One On One as 80s albums that I can play front to back without cringing. So I am 100% down for more Devo. While we're on the subject, it might be time to give Cheap Trick's The Latest another listen.

Rasputina Sister Kinderhook



















Equal parts Gogol Bordello, The Decemberists and Regina Spektor, Rasputina's Sister Kinderhook is full of sweet vocals and Eastern European flavor. It reminds me of what a Grimm fairy tale would sound like. I'm not sure if this is something I can listen to on a day to day basis but as background music for pipe smoking or tarot card reading it will suffice.

We Are Scientists Barbara



















I know I like We Are Scientists. I also know I haven't listened to them as much as I feel I should.

Barbara is my chance (and as good as any) to catch up.

Now That's What I Call the USA: The Patriotic Country Collection



















How are you going to ignore this? You can't. So let's just grab a six pack of _____ Lite and argue over whose truck is more bad ass. Ranging from saccharine sweet imagery straight out of fictional, Norman Rockwell, Anytown USA to more intelligent songs like Chely Wright's "Bumper of My SUV" this compilation is the perfect soundtrack to bludgeon minorities to. This 4th of July I know what I'll be listening to as I light bottle rockets off of my raging red white and blue boner. Yee. Haw.

Movies I Hate, Soundtracks I Love Pt. 1

I've mentioned my penchant for cruising soundtracks for new music. I should clarify that I'm not browsing film scores but soundtracks comprised of music played in the movie itself or classified under the "inspired by the motion picture" moniker.

Often I'll become attached to a soundtrack that is "inspired" or lifted from a horrible movie. Or I'll love the movie, love the soundtrack only to revisit the movie years later and discover that it ages worse than insert name of fading reality TV star here. ZING!Let's get Started:

#10. American Wedding
The series was played out half way through the first movie. I can still chuckle at the gang's raunchy exploits but I cringe more than smile. The soundtrack however is the perfect slice (yeah that's right, a pie pun) of New Millennium pop punk. You don't like Sugarcult, New Found Glory or Good Charlotte? I believe you. But at one time I bet you sang along. You did too. Don't worry, you couldn't help it. The songs are just that damn catchy. Throw in some Hot Action Cop and you can't miss. Melodies, crunchy guitars and nostalgia keep this soundtrack rotating in my iTunes.

#9. P.S. I Love You

Look at all of her stupid hats. That should be reason enough to dislike the movie. I'll be honest, I never made it through the whole thing. I just couldn't. I was on a 12 hour plane ride, sharing headphones with my then-fiance now-wife and I chose to sit in silence and stare at the seat in front of me instead of watching this movie. I'm sure it has its merits but I'm also sure they are buried beneath a deep layer of "BLECK!" Paolo Nutini, Flogging Molly and the Pogues drew me to the soundtrack and while the majority of songs remind me of a love sick forty something sitting on the couch eating frozen cookie dough and watching Top Chef I kind of like it. Hell, for that reason I love it.

#8. m:i 2

Mission Impossible was one of my favorite movies as a kid. John Woo's caricature of a sequel nearly ruined that for me. I say nearly because on some level I still like the motorcycle-boxing, dove flying, exploding nonsense. Watching it now is more for laughs than thrills. I have an emotional attachment to this soundtrack so take this as you will. The summer this came out was also the summer that we sat in the basement and played Perfect Dark until our eyes bled. When I hear Metallica's I Disappear I think of deploying laptop gun turrets and sniping through walls with alien hardware. I don't really think about the Chimera virus. So yeah, ignore the Limp Bizkit and use the rest of the Nu Metal m:i 2 soundtrack to fuel a gaming session and see how well it suits you.

#7. Spiderman 3

Words cannot express how jazzed I was for this movie. I bit my then-girlfriend now-wife on the shoulder during Spiderman 2 because I couldn't contain my excitement. I knew for sure that on May 1st 2007, someone was leaving the theater after Spiderman 3 with teeth marks. I can't say I hated the movie. I still can't say I hate it. I love the Spiderman characters too much to not enjoy it on some level. I just remember watching it and thinking to myself "This isn't right." But when the credits rolled and I heard Snow Patrol's Signal Fire it almost made me forget about what had just happened. Add to that The Killers, Coconut Records, Wolfmother, Rogue Wave, The Flaming Lips and Chubby Checker and you've got an instantaneous summer playlist.

#6. Funny People

I had high hopes for Funny People. I would have followed Judd Apatow into a screening of Gigli I trusted him so. But he abused that trust and tricked me into watching a two and a half hour soap opera populated by petty, deceptive and despicable human beings. I laughed. I didn't completely despise it. It was refreshing to watch Adam Sandler do something. I just can't get behind this thing. But James Taylor playing Carolina On My Mind and following his performance with "Fuck Facebook!" changed my mind about the soundtrack. 3/4 of the Beatles, Neil Diamond, Robert Plant, Warren Zevon give the soundtrack weight and substance and Andrew Bird and Coconut Records bring that emotionality into the modern age. I love these songs. That's right, love 'em.

Stick around, there's a very unpopular decision coming and one of the best violent montages ever yet to come in Part 2.

Youth and Young Manhood

The other day I read that Nathan Followill, drummer for Kings of Leon admitted that their next album will be beachy, fun and more like Youth and Young Manhood. I've enjoyed the Kings of Leon trajectory. I've never really felt betrayed by the raucous and rowdy promise they made with Youth and Young Manhood when their songs grew more precise and anthemic. For me, this tidbit of news is the most exciting thing I've read in days and also the most troubling.

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1640099/20100526/kings_of_leon.jhtml

And I'll tell you why.

During the final weeks of my senior year in high school I decided to play hooky. This proved easier than I thought when I told my mom I did not feel well and she suggested I stay home from school. Easy enough. My day of luxury began with Guy Ritchie's Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels and a large bowl of Captain Crunch Oops All Berries (a cereal that only hits the shelves when the inattentive Captain forgets to flip the yellow crunch switch). When the credits rolled and the bowl was dry I decided to find some new using the Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels soundtrack as an obvious starting point. I never limit my searches to one genre or time period and soundtracks are great for getting started and pointing down divergent musical paths. That day I came across Kings of Leon's Youth and Young Manhood. My immediate reaction was "wow! These guys sound just like JET! Great!" Further listening proved me wrong and I fell in love with what sounded like four dudes just having fun in their garage.

A year later Aha Shake Heartbreak released and my love for this band was solidified. When I listened to "Four Kicks" I wanted to swig the last warm inch of beer from the bottom of the bottle, kick in a window and start a fight with the local street toughs. Another year later I didn't care that Because of the Times was more polished, more thought out, longer, more epic because I was ready for it. I had grown a little and was ready for my favorite bands to grow and evolve as well. I never could stand"Sex on Fire." But that's okay, the rest of Only by the Night more than compensated for that single. I don't know how, but Anthony's voice is almost heartbreaking throughout the entire album and again, I lapped it up like a parched horse drug to water. It may not have been what I was looking for, or what I expected, but it quenched my musical thirst .

When I heard of a return to form for Kings of Leon I reacted with hoops, hollers and all manner of carrying on. But now I've grown wary. I'm not the same kid. What if I don't like it? My track record with KOL is immaculate, aren't I due for a disappointment? What if Jeff Mangum came out from whatever state park he is hiding in and says he's recording a sister album for In the Aeroplane Over the Sea? Hipsters and indie rockers everywhere would rejoice but that music had its place and time. It's not meant for right now. We all listen to it fondly now, but if it released tomorrow how would it hold up? What if the rebellious, southern garage rock I fell in love with doesn't hold up as well, eight years later when I'm all grown up?

Doubt is insidious. I will wait with an open mind. But on the release day for Kings of Leon I will feel like a small child reaching over my head into a brown sack that is said to contain candy, but may very well contain razor blades.

The Mash-Up

Admission of guilt: once upon a time I downloaded music. Shut up. You did too. We all did. Most still do. And by doing so, by downloading individual tracks, by consciously selecting the songs we wanted to hear and placing them in an order we saw fit, by stealing the power of track selection and order from bands and record labels, we changed how we hear music.

And I'm damn glad we did.

Now, sometimes giving an album your undivided attention is a rewarding and worthwhile experience and nothing can replace it. And sometimes you want a little Ludacris after your Decemberists and maybe after that a little Dean Martin topped with a dash of Mindless Self Indulgence. Sometimes on a long drive I'll throw my entire iPod on shuffle and force myself to listen to whatever it throws at me (a tortuous and thrilling exercise). Banging on my steering wheel, blasting my air trombone, gulping and singing with tears on my face and shredding on my air lightning wolf tooth guitar (it's imaginary, why wouldn't it be made of lightning and wolf teeth?) all within 20 minutes of driving down the interstate. It's the only way to drive, friends. Missouri State Highway Patrol dare not stop the raucous concert in my twin cab. They daren't.

Q:Why do I obsess over mash-up wonder duo Super Mash Bros?
A. I'm a Nintendo fan boy who clings to any pun-related cross media version of Nintendo franchises.
B. I'm a dancer.
C. They embody everything I've come to love about music in the past decade.
D. I don't. I just wanted to type "mash-up wonder duo"

A: C (will also accept B).

You see, Super Mash Bros condense half an hour of my iPod interstate shuffling into a two and a half minute orgasm of Top 40 beats and riffs that will turn your ass into a beat shaking frenzy. An entire day of listening to the radio by the pool is turned into a 3 minute dare, a song a that dares you to not love it. And you will.

Guaranteed.

DJs across the country are capitalizing on a trend that Run DMC and Aerosmith helped popularize 25 years ago but no one has tapped into the zeitgeist like Super Mash Bros. Girl Talk is close but he is more interested in controlling the throngs of writhing bodies around him with more "danceable" approaches. Listening to Super Mash Bros mash ups for the first time is as an event. You smile as you think "Wow, that's Modest Mouse and Bubba Sparxxx and that's the Caridigans! Holy shit! What!?! Is that Britney? I can't believe they pulled this off? And that's Kelis and...." Rinse. Repeat. You don't have time to tire of a song, you barely have time to process what's happening to your body. Instead you're left smiling like a dolt, sweating and jumping on the dance floor or in my case, banging on every surface in my truck as trees and fields zip by.

Don't believe me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ix6b0WrAkc